Reflections of an interim pastor, part two
Finishing up the second sermon was much easier than the first. I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I still struggle with the thoughts that I outlined in my first reflection, however.
For me, the hardest challenge in ministry is not slipping into professionalism. I’m a hard worker. I can devote time to a task, putting in the effort and the work that it takes to do it well. The thing about preaching and about ministry in general, though, is that it’s more than just what you do. It’s about who you are.
Appropriately, my upcoming sermon this week is on the Beatitudes. As I’m learning through my preparatory reading, it’s really not about what you do that really matters to God, but its about who you are. What do you value, what do you care about, what do you love? As Proverbs 4:23 indicates, out of the heart flow the springs of life.
I can preach a good sermon. I can exhort the people before me to action. But if I’m not living what I preach, if I’m not devoting myself to prayer and to Christian action (and I don’t know which one is harder for me), then I’m not fulfilling my pastoral role. If I’m not demonstrating and characterized by that which I preach, what does that make me?
Eek. Challenging stuff, thoughts that keep me awake at night, that constantly have me examining myself. I guess that’s good, though. If I stop caring, if I stop thinking, if I stop examining, I’ve already lost the battle, haven’t I?
It’s going to be a long couple of months, but I can’t wait to see who I am at the end of this experience.
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